News Details (Posted: June 20, 2008):

Living with Cancer: Round Rock Teen Talks About Cancer Survival

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By REBECCA LACKIE –Round Rock Leader
Everyone knows that peer pressure is rough for a teenager, but just imagine, for instance, that in addition to dealing with fitting in, getting into the right college, going to the prom, and getting good grades, comes a diagnosis of ovarian cancer while still attending high school.

While other students are picking out their formal wear for the dance, you are suddenly faced with your own mortality. All of a sudden, you aren't invincible anymore. All of a sudden you could die ... and you haven't even graduated yet or gone to the prom.

That's what happened to Ari Gernaat in 2006 - Dec. 15, 2006 to be exact. Gernaat said that she noticed a hard lump growing on her abdomen.

"I was showing it to one of my friends, and I said, 'Look at this hard thing. Isn't it weird? Touch it.' We were poking my tumor," Gernaat said, as she shook her head in disbelief.

Since then life has change drastically.

Gernaat went through three rounds of chemotherapy at Round Rock Medical Center, the first time she had cancer, and a round of high dose chemotherapy the second time. She lost her hair - twice - and went to the prom with a tuft of "bird fluff" on top instead of an elegant do like the other girls. Her boyfriend and some of her friends also went bald, in support of her, by her side the whole way.

"It made things easier. It felt better to not be the only person that was bald," Gernaat said.

Still, those personal times were, perhaps, some of the most trying. Gernaat remembers cutting her long hair and donating more than 13 inches to locks of love, with plenty to spare. What was left over came out in clumps in hair brushes, and in the shower.

"I'd go to shower, and it'd feel like snakes running down my back. It was my hair falling out. The thing that I was most vain about was my hair," Gernaat said.

However, everyone didn't handle Gernaat's newfound baldness as well as her friends did.

"You get sick of people staring really fast, so you kind of turn around and go the opposite direction," Gernaat said. "I'm a fairly easy-going person, and I usually didn't snap at people, but my boyfriends and my friends would just stare back. [People] literally had gaping, open-mouth, wide-eyed, stares as you walk by."

Yet, the staring is a mere portion of what Gernaat had to endure. In addition to feeling deathly ill while going through months of chemotherapy - as she coped with symptoms such as weakness and severe nausea as well as the isolation and sterility of the hospital for extended periods of time - Gernaat had to worry about grades, band competitions and other parts of high school life as she struggled to hang on to some of the things that made her feel normal.

"For instance, someone who hasn't been through cancer might say I'm brave, or that everything happens for a reason," Gernaat explained, "but that's the last thing I wanted to hear.

"Why am I brave - because I got sick and threw up a lot? I don't think that's brave," Gernaat said, as she explained that bravery is a result of a choice you've made, something great you have done, not a disease you suffer through.

"I don't want to be brave, and I don't thing I deserve that title. I just want to feel normal. I'm human and I was sick. I'm not perfect and I still get moody," she explained.

According to her, the best thing you can do for a cancer patient, or any sick person is to help them feel normal again. One of the things that she remembers appreciating most during the ordeal were the friends that were able to see past the cancer and remember that she was not merely a "cancer patient" or a "victim."

To them, she was just Ari, plain and simple. She just wanted to hang out, eat a pizza, watch TV, and relax a little - instead of trying to make sense of it all.

However, Gernaat, who is currently in remission from cancer, said she did learn a few things from the experience. She learned how to enjoy life's simple pleasures, like friends, family and feeling the warmth of sunshine, which meant she could be outdoors again instead of in a hospital bed.

"Things change too quickly in your life, and things happen, without you knowing it, too suddenly to be miserable and think that one day you'll be happy," Gernaat said.

And in spite of the ordeal that Gernaat has endured, she still was able to get up and move on, knowing that part of recovery is regaining your life and sense of self.

"My junior year before I got sick I was super driven and very focused. I still am, but [it was] the second time around when I was applying for colleges, while I was doing chemo. I still got into the University of Texas."

Gernaat says that she is even more grateful because she was selected as a Terry Scholar, getting a full scholarship to UT from the Terry Foundation. She plans to attend the UT School of Engineering.